There is a quality that almost all women share.  I’m referring to multi-tasking. 

I’m not so good with the multi-tasking.  In fact, I’m horrible.  And one very specific kind of multi-tasking: talking on the phone and doing something else…anything else.  I simply can not talk on the phone and do something else.  Impossible.  Eppie would always joke with me that the house could be on fire and I would never notice.  I thought that comment was an exaggeration, but sadly enough, it is not.

I was not aware of the severity of this problem until a few months ago when I was talking to one of my sisters on the phone.  I hung up and saw that the entire floor was covered with papertowels.  “What did you do?”  I asked Daniel. 

“I tiled the floor.”

“Why did you waste all these paper towels?”

“Mom, you were watching me the whole time.  You GAVE me the paper towels.”

Oh yes.  That moment kind of scared me.  Really, it did.  Am I that out of it when I’m on the phone?

 Well, it happened again tonight.  I got off the phone and found that every item in my house that could be misplaced, was misplaced.  Every diaper, every book, every toy, every canned food, every plastic tupperware.  EVERYTHING. 

I laughed, even though I wanted to cry inside.  Not that my house was a disaster.  More that my brain is a disaster.  My house is still not completely picked up.  I’d rather write in here than pick up another case of macaroni and cheese or some other random item that my kids decided to get out. I’m tired of picking up. 

Here’s the good, but bad news.  I figured out what my problem is with why I can’t multi-task on the phone.  I have diagnosed myself with APD (Auditory Processing Disorder).  I found out about this a few weeks ago while I was doing research for something else online.  I was so happy when I found this and realized it was really a problem. 

This is a quote from a webpage about APD:

“Using a telephone can be problematic, due to low quality audio, poor signal, intermittent sounds and the chopping of words can be a problem for someone with Auditory processing disorder to cope with, in comparison with someone with normal auditory processing (hearing).^[3] Many who have auditory processing disorder subconsciously develop visual coping strategies, such as lip reading, reading body language, and eye contact, to compensate for their auditory deficit, and these coping strategies are not available when using a telephone.”

That was it!  That was all I needed to read.  But I researched it more and learned about the other problems I have associated with APD. 

The best way to describe it -  it’s like I hear something, my brain “get’s it” and then I lose that information…unless I’m really, really concentrating.  Which is why I have to really, really concentrate when I’m on the phone.

But it’s not too bad of problem to have.  I mean, it can be kind of embarrassing when someone has to repeat their telephone number to you like four times before you get it right, or you can’t remember the punchline of a joke two seconds after you’ve heard it.  There are worse things to have.