The original plan was to take individual pictures of everyone in their “Armor of God.” But we got a little carried away, didn’t we guys?

(You can click on them to make them bigger)

If I had been on top of my game here, I would have remembered to get Eppie what he wanted for Father’s Day - A witty T-shirt.

Last night, Eppie was online and wanted to show me the funniest shirt he had ever seen (from threadless). That’s when it hit me that I forgot to get him his shirt. When I checked out this shirt, at first I was like, “huh?” But two seconds later I could not stop laughing. He is totally getting this shirt if it’s the last thing I do:

And then Eppie and I found the perfect one for my dad:

I guess being a doctor, my dad is pretty morbid and will totally dig this shirt. He still wears the one I gave him 15 years ago that says, “Eat Right. Exercise. Die Anyway.”

For fun, here are some of the other shirts that Eppie and I love (these are from Busted Tees):

I am going to answer the two questions I seem to be getting on a daily basis:

Question 1:  Are you still planning on moving.

Answer: Yes, we are…unfortunately.  Eppie is VERY excited about moving and has been trying to convince me that greater things exist outside of Hershey, PA.  

We’re selling our house on our own and we’ve had probably about a dozen people look at our place.  We’re not in any rush because Eppie’s fine with commuting so far and thankfully his brother lives out that way - so Ep crashes there a lot of times.

People ask all the time if it’s super stressful selling a house.  For us - No.  We don’t have a deadline.  Plus, we’re going to rent somewhere when we move instead of buy…most likely.  We just think that’s the smartest thing to do right now. 

Question 2: Are you going to have another baby?

Answer:  Have you met my daughter?  Probably not, because then you wouldn’t be asking me that question.  I love Elizabeth and all, but she is a pickle.

Call me selfish, but I thorougly enjoy my sanity.  

Besides, I’m just not “baby hungry.” 

“Pregnant hungry” - That’s a different story.  

When we get to heaven, I hope we all have a chance to see selections of our lives here on earth, because I  would really like to see a re-play of what happened to me today:

Eppie had just left to take the Honda serviced and I had just gotten out of the shower.  I went to check on the kids and found that Elizabeth was unwrapping another chocolate egg from her easter basket.  I scolded her for disobeying me, put the egg back in the basket and picked her off her stool. 

She was Furious!!!  She grabbed my wet hair and began pulling.  I started hollering with pain.  Daniel, who was watching the whole thing, got nervous and began screaming.  So here we are - Elizabeth, Daniel and me all screaming for different reasons. 

I didn’t know what to do.  Every time I tried to get Lizzie’s hand out of my hair she pulled harder.

She then grabbed my hair with her other hand.  I was in so much pain and so much fear that I would have two huge bald spots on my head. 

With all three of us still screaming, I laid Lizzie and myself down on the floor and tried tickling under her arms.  Daniel thought I was abusing her and started to scream louder. And the tickling did not solve the problem.

What did I do next?  I basically started wrestling with my one year old daughter and somehow managed to get myself free from Lizzie’s grasp.  I kid you not - it is very hard to wrestle a toddler.

I was so upset with her that I picked her up, went upstairs and put her in her crib for several minutes. 

But then I could not stop laughing.  Daniel, who was still in shock over the whole incident, kept asking me what was so funny and he just couldn’t understand why in the world I would be laughing at what just happened. 

Yes, I want to see a re-play of that moment.  It would definitly have a shot at winning ”Heaven’s Funniest Home-video’s” (ha ha - so cheesy). 

There is a quality that almost all women share.  I’m referring to multi-tasking. 

I’m not so good with the multi-tasking.  In fact, I’m horrible.  And one very specific kind of multi-tasking: talking on the phone and doing something else…anything else.  I simply can not talk on the phone and do something else.  Impossible.  Eppie would always joke with me that the house could be on fire and I would never notice.  I thought that comment was an exaggeration, but sadly enough, it is not.

I was not aware of the severity of this problem until a few months ago when I was talking to one of my sisters on the phone.  I hung up and saw that the entire floor was covered with papertowels.  “What did you do?”  I asked Daniel. 

“I tiled the floor.”

“Why did you waste all these paper towels?”

“Mom, you were watching me the whole time.  You GAVE me the paper towels.”

Oh yes.  That moment kind of scared me.  Really, it did.  Am I that out of it when I’m on the phone?

 Well, it happened again tonight.  I got off the phone and found that every item in my house that could be misplaced, was misplaced.  Every diaper, every book, every toy, every canned food, every plastic tupperware.  EVERYTHING. 

I laughed, even though I wanted to cry inside.  Not that my house was a disaster.  More that my brain is a disaster.  My house is still not completely picked up.  I’d rather write in here than pick up another case of macaroni and cheese or some other random item that my kids decided to get out. I’m tired of picking up. 

Here’s the good, but bad news.  I figured out what my problem is with why I can’t multi-task on the phone.  I have diagnosed myself with APD (Auditory Processing Disorder).  I found out about this a few weeks ago while I was doing research for something else online.  I was so happy when I found this and realized it was really a problem. 

This is a quote from a webpage about APD:

“Using a telephone can be problematic, due to low quality audio, poor signal, intermittent sounds and the chopping of words can be a problem for someone with Auditory processing disorder to cope with, in comparison with someone with normal auditory processing (hearing).^[3] Many who have auditory processing disorder subconsciously develop visual coping strategies, such as lip reading, reading body language, and eye contact, to compensate for their auditory deficit, and these coping strategies are not available when using a telephone.”

That was it!  That was all I needed to read.  But I researched it more and learned about the other problems I have associated with APD. 

The best way to describe it -  it’s like I hear something, my brain “get’s it” and then I lose that information…unless I’m really, really concentrating.  Which is why I have to really, really concentrate when I’m on the phone.

But it’s not too bad of problem to have.  I mean, it can be kind of embarrassing when someone has to repeat their telephone number to you like four times before you get it right, or you can’t remember the punchline of a joke two seconds after you’ve heard it.  There are worse things to have.

There is a ‘Friends’ episode where Monica and Chandler try to be a hotter couple than Phoebe and Mike. I loved this episode (but which episode of “Friends” do I not like?) because I felt like Monica. My newly engaged brother David and his fiance Allyson were much hotter than us.

Since than, we’ve been in competition to see who is the “hotter couple.” Actually, I think they’re pretty annoyed at this point because we always bring it up.

Today, eppie and I celebrated our 10-year anniversary of our first date. We celebrated by holding a bowling tournament with family. And I’m bringing this all up now because yesterday I just decorated my very first cake and on it it says, “10 years as the ‘hottest couple.’ So when you see pics of this cake, you’ll know that we’re not being vain. It’s all just an inside joke.

Now, Eppie doesn’t know this yet, but I forfeited the title to Dave and Allyson. Eppie and I had a less than ideal week, and Dave and Allyson were just glowing with love that I had to give them the title. Give them a few years and a few more children - We’ll reclaim it.

That last entry reminded me of one of our family’s most recent jokes.  Several weeks ago we were driving in the car when Timbaland’s “Apologize” came on the radio.  Eppie, who is usually the king of lyrics, asked, “What in the world does he say there?  It’s too late to…to what?” 

“I’m pretty sure it’s ‘apologize.’  It’s too late to apologize.”

“Oh.  That makes sense.  Yeah, that’s probably what it is.”

“What did you think it was?”

“I don’t know.  It’s too late to….call the guys?”

 Oh, the tears of laughter that followed.

Several weeks ago, eppie and I saw “The Bucket List.”  Not a great movie, but it’s been getting me thinking, “What are the things I want to do before I die, or in other words, ‘kick the bucket.’”

I have realized that I am either a very boring person or I’m a very content person.  Hopefully the latter. 

May I present my bucket list:

-Flip a house with my family…and live in it.

-Drive through New England just as the leaves are changing.

-Grow my hair long, cut it, and donate my hair to “locks of love.”

-Have one of my recipes published in “Taste of Home” magazine.

-Win a baking/cooking contest.

-Leave a very large tip for a waiter/waitress. 

-Participate in the Hill Cumorah Pageant with my family.

-When my kids are older, direct church musicals and treat the whole cast to Friendly’s…just like my dad did.

-Own a beautiful vegetable garden.

-Buy a pick-up truck and wear my cowboy hat everytime I drive it.

Because we went to Bob Evans tonight for dinner, I was reminded of just one of the thousands of reasons why I love motherhood:

Eppie and I (and the kiddos) went to Bob Evans at christmas time with some friends who were home for the holidays.  When we were looking at the menu, Daniel asked, “Mom, why is the word “boob” on the menu?”

(whispering) “Uh, I don’t think that word is on here.”

So he preceeds to show me the word “Bob.”

Everyone, of course laughed, (Bob Evans during the day.  Boob Evans at night - ha ha).

But what made this even funnier was that I told everyone that he doesn’t even know how to read yet.  So they all wondered how he knew the word “boob.” 

A few days before this, Eppie gave me a journal for my birthday.  Daniel was jealous and wanted one himself.  So I gave him a notebook and he would “write” in his when I would write in mine.  He came over one time and said, “Mom, what does this word spell?”

“Well Daniel, you just spelled the word boob.”

“Oh?”

And that’s the story behind why he knew the word boob.  And that, my friends, is just another reason why motherhood is the best!